THROWBACK SCANDAL ROCKS JONES DAY
SERJEANT NANCE BLAMES "FRICTION IN THE UNIVERSE"

Serjeant Weber has been acquitted on all counts related to a vintage Serjeant Pogue "throwback jersey" given to Serjeant Weber by representatives of Dix & Eaton late last year. The jersey, once worn by Serjeant Pogue in a Jones Day Management Committee performance of "Best Little Whorehouse in Cleveland," is considered priceless by many, even though Serjeant Pogue was the sole member of the Committee and no one actually saw the performance.

Serjeant Nance defended Serjeant Weber against charges that he breached Jones Day's conflict policies by capitalizing on speculation that he would succeed Serjeant McCartan as Managing Partner to extort the gratuity from one of Jones Day's most gullible vendors. Serjeant Nance pointed out that motivation for the gift has to be determined from the point of view of the gift giver and that Serjeant Weber therefore is totally irrelevant. Managing Partner Brogan wholeheartedly supported this conclusion.

The jersey itself cannot be located. Shortly after receiving it, Serjeant Weber was able to trade it on e-Bay for two Serjeant McCartan throwback jerseys and a Serjeant Renkert blowup doll.

Extra:
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