ROCKET SCIENCE, SCHMOCKET SCIENCE

It's 39 days to the Grand Assizes, and D.C. Ziegler is getting desperate, having received not a single skit from the Serjeants. He's soliciting our help -- please complete the questionnaire below and sent it to him at www.itwritesitself.com as soon as you can!

1. The Setting (Circle one): a law office; the White House; The Governor's Mansion; Sjt. Zych's trailer park.
2. The Main Characters (Strike One): Dennis Kucinich; George W. Bush; Jane Campbell; Sjt. Wheeler.
3. The Theme (Choose One): Inept civic leaders; greedy lawyers; insufferable Hollywood celebrities; sex and drugs and rock 'n roll.
4. The Conflict (Pick One): We're screwed if The Main Characters are in charge; we’re screwed if The Main Characters don’t take charge; we’re screwed either way.
5. The Conclusion (Select One): Upbeat 85-year-old show song featuring everyone who was on stage for the skits, including "the guy that didn’t say anything" and "the potted plant."