EAST SIDE STORY

There’s three things the male serjeants like to do best: watch chicks fight, and two other things we don’t need to go into here. As to No. 1, something’s coming tonight at the Hermit Club, when all five serjeanti who’ve portrayed Jane Campbell will be rumbling for the privilege of playing the role this April. Has Sjt. Brandt’s stint in New York City toughened her up enough? Will Sjt. Hultin feel pretty when Sjt. K.J. whacks her in the head with a gavel? What weapon will Neophyte Hearey take from the federal evidence room to give her the advantage in the brawl? We’ll find out the answers soon enough!