COURT DIGESTING CALAMITY—Was the Z Court Zzzzzzzz-ing? Did the Lost Boys become the Lost Court? An intense investigation unearthed photographs revealing the awful truth—the Ziegler Court trapped in a giant gas bubble which erupted at the end of the first Court session. Still stunned by their week-long ordeal, the inhabitants of the Behemoth Belch Bubble vowed to find the source of their Bilious Biosphere. Several suspects were shown the photo, but all denied any involvement. Sjt. Renkert: "Bratwurst! That court can’t find its way out of a paper bag." Currently-ex-Judge Hearey: "that court can’t even find the paper bag." Currently-ex-Bailiff O’Bryan: "a Dark Force appears to have infiltrated the Ziegler Court."

Bailiff Rains protested the attribution of any sinister meaning to "my best picture ever!" and insisted it was a mere coincidence that the unprecedented atmospheric pressure preserved his record of perfect court openings. Meanwhile, the prognosis for Master of the Rolls Solomon, who keeps repeating "Wow, bad vibes man!" remains guarded. Clerk Keyse-Walker is reportedly checking into lo-carb menus and banning beer from future sessions. When asked if he had anything to say for himself, Judge-for-now Ziegler responded, "Yes."